Who Are You?
It might feel like a heavy question to start the day with :)
But I see it as a doorway to freedom.
Life is often shaped by “shoulds.”
How to be.
How to behave.
How to live.
How to work.
Without even realising it, we play roles and chase goals that fit general norms.
It’s understandable - belonging is a core human instinct, tied to survival.
As children we quickly notice that meeting expectations brings approval, and with approval comes a sense of safety. This is called conditional regard: a natural part of development where we adapt to secure connection.
In childhood this adaptation is necessary. But in adulthood, if we continue to orient ourselves primarily around others’ expectations, life can feel fragmented. We risk stumbling between roles and obligations rather than acting from a coherent sense of self.
This could play out as:
Difficulty making decisions - because our inner compass is set to someone else’s expectations
Struggling to be assertive - as our “yes” and “no” come from a role we play, not what we want
Feeling sensitive and edgy - because your life is stuck in serving someone else’s trajectory
A sense of stagnation - living a life that looks fine, yet feels hollow
With my clients, we start by peeling back the layers of internalised demands. We look for the places where autopilot is running the show, and uncover the self beneath it all. From there we can start to build a fertile ground for a life that feels truly fulfilling.
If you’d like, take a moment today to reflect on this:
Where in my life am I acting from “should,” where does that “should” come from, and what would shift if I acted from a true expression of who I am?
I’ll leave you with these words from Carl Jung:
“The world will ask you who you are, and if you don’t know, the world will tell you.”
With love,
A
