What would you be without that thought?

Your mind is brilliant.

And occasionally, a drama queen.

It analyses, predicts, makes assumptions… often with a negative bias, turning a simple interaction into “evidence” that things are going in the wrong direction.

But thoughts do not report facts. They are momentary neural patterns shaped by past experience.

So it’s a good idea to check in before we act on our personal interpretations of events.

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Here is a good way to do that*:

1. Write down a thought that triggers stress or self-criticism.

E.g The thought appears after a tense meeting or a short reply to an email. “My business partner isn’t happy with me.”

2. Is it really true?

Is it 100% true he/ she is not happy with you - examine this question deeper.

3. How do I react when I believe it’s true?

Notice the effect of believing the thought.

E.g defensiveness, over-explaining, or withdrawal?

4. Who would I be without that thought?

This question explores the identity you would have if the stressful thought were not present.

E.g More grounded, self reflective, curious, and open to a constructive conversation?

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This isn’t about proving your thought wrong, it’s about recognising that there are always multiple versions of what is “true” - helping us respond with reflection rather than reaction.

It often reveals opportunities we would have missed while caught in our first interpretation.

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I would love to hear if this exercise helped you have a different attitude to your concern.

A 🤍

*Based on Byron Katies work